You might want to examine alternatives to online dating apps if swiping through manicured photographs, filtered selfies, and well crafted profiles becomes more of a chore than a joy. “As much as I love technology, there’s nothing like meeting someone in person.” “Chemistry can reveal stories beyond a dating profile,” says Destin Pfaff, a relationship expert and matchmaker who created Love and Matchmaking with his wife Rachel Federoff. But, in an age when dating apps reign supreme, how does one find their partner the old-fashioned way? We sought the experts for advice on how to meet someone out of this world in the real world—and where to meet them.
Take yourself on a date.
We understand that instead of whistling your favorite song into your Sauvignon Blanc, you prefer to sing Sweet Caroline with your friends. But what about that dashing young man who captured your eye? He’s not going to risk being turned down in front of five of your best friends. “In therapy, we focus on establishing confidence and self-esteem so you can go out alone or with one friend,” explains Kelley Kitley, a psychotherapist, TEDx speaker, and author. “When you’re at a social function without a group of people, folks are more approachable,” she explains.
Say hello in the grocery store line.
The toughest part is having to wait. Who enjoys standing about doing nothing except counting the freckles on the person’s neck in front of them? But consider this: you have nowhere else to go, so why not strike up a conversation? “It passes the time, and you never know if it could be a match or if they know someone,” says relationship expert and therapist Dr. Juliana Morris, who adds that it’s beneficial to practice striking up conversations with strangers even if Mr. There isn’t right in front of you. “You never know if it’s a match or if they know someone,” she explains.
Participate in your church (or temple).
There’s a strong probability of meeting someone wherever a group gathers, and places of religion are no exception. “Churches are rethinking how they stay engaged in order to recruit community members,” Shaklee says. “Sign up to receive invitations to events like leadership conferences, current music performances, or evenings presented by a distinguished speaker” from your local religious organization, she says. According to Shaklee, some churches have everything from coffee shops to sporting facilities so that even non-members can enjoy the fellowship.
Take a solo trip on a group tour.
“Travel can bring out the best in you,” Morris says. “Your mind is expanding, you’re seeing new sights and cultures, and it can be a fantastic setting for getting to know someone.” Many travel agencies provide group tours tailored specifically for single travelers. Exodus Travels reports that 66 percent of their consumers sign up for tours on their own. Contiki, an environmentally minded organization that caters to younger tourists, is another choice (think 18-35). There’s a tour for everyone, whether you want to cycle through Vietnam or eat your way through Paris. Even if you don’t meet your soul match on the Inca Trail, you will develop as a person, which is always appealing.
Flying is a first-class meeting zone.
If you decide to go on a trip, remember that it’s not just about the destination…also it’s about the journey. “I always urge clients to look their best while traveling since people are bored and watching,” Morris says, adding that not only do fellow travelers frequently have things in common, but they also have the chance to interact (talk about a good spin on a delayed trip!). “Are you flying home?” is a straightforward inquiry. “What book are you reading?” or “How long have you been reading?” can lead to much larger discussions. “I know a lot of folks who met their spouse in airports,” Morris advises.
