What is the relationship between demisexuality and other sexualities?
“Just because you’re demisexual doesn’t mean you can’t identify with other sexualities like homosexuality, pansexuality, bisexuality, or even asexuality,” White says.
There are many different sexual identities and expressions on the sexuality spectrum. That number will only increase as language and humanity advance. As a result, some people can readily identify with many sexual identities. A person could, for example, be gay and demisexual, bisexual and asexual, or any other combination.
“Sexuality is a fluid process of learning via the experience of connection in numerous ways. There are so many ways to be intimate that aren’t sexual, and demisexuality in many ways encourages you to want to experience more than just sexual closeness “White adds to the conversation.
Different forms of attraction.
Because physical attraction plays a reduced role in the development of sentiments for demisexuals, other forms of attraction are often at the forefront in their relationships, according to Casey Tanner, a trained sex therapist and sexpert for LELO.
“They might, for example, be attracted in by the way someone thinks, which is a type of intellectual attraction. Alternatively, they could form a bond through a series of amorous experiences. At times, there is a mix of different types of attraction at work “Tanner explains.
Having sex when you’re demisexual.
Because demisexuals require an emotional bond, it’s a frequent fallacy that they won’t have sex unless they’re “in love.” However, according to Queen, this isn’t always the case. “Many demisexuals can and do have sex without this connection—but many individuals end up having sex without much attraction since humans, even demisexuals, have sex for a variety of reasons.”
The general attitude to sexual pleasure and demisexuality will differ from person to person. However, the more time you spend connecting with yourself and learning about your sex experiences, the better you’ll be able to please yourself and convey your desires to your partner (s). This will also assist you in expressing what you don’t want in terms of sexual pleasure.
“You should never feel forced or pressured to participate in a sexual experience with which you are uncomfortable,” White advises. “Always remember to do what you think is best for you. That being said, if you’re up for it, don’t be scared to attempt new things in the bedroom with yourself or a companion. Set boundaries with your relationship as well as with yourself.”
She also mentions that masturbation may play a larger role in a demisexual’s life because the strong relationships they require with their partners may not always be available. She recommends going at your own pace.
What to do if your partner identifies as demisexual.
If your spouse identifies as demisexual, it’s crucial to respect their boundaries and not put pressure on them to have sex.
If your partner has a lesser sex drive than you or isn’t interested in sex because of their demisexuality, White suggests approaching them with a “‘I’ perspective, accompanied by a specific desire, as well as a bridge statement wanting to understand how they feel as well.”