The right age to allow your teenage child start dating
Mrs. Abiodun Oyebode, the 16-year-old daughter of a school entrepreneur, had persisted on going on a date with one of her male classmates despite her mother’s rejection two Saturdays ago.
Because of her stern demeanor, Oyebode, who is sometimes referred to as ‘Margaret Thatcher’ by some of her classmates, said she had to lock all the doors in her house to keep her daughter, Josephine, from escaping.
“My daughter has refused to speak with me since then.” She now prefers to communicate with her father rather than with me,” the mother of three explained, adding that she took severe measures to protect her adolescent daughter.
“When she hits 18 or 19, I’ll probably let her go on a date.” However, I believe she is still too young for that at the age of 16. “I’m not sure why she’s so keen to go on a date; she should be concentrating on her studies,” she explained.
The problem of permitting her daughter to go on dates, according to Oyebode, has sparked a number of angry confrontations between them.
“I don’t tolerate bad behavior, yet it’s difficult for me to keep my only daughter under control.” She believes she is now old enough for such because she turned 16. What does a 16-year-old know? I didn’t grow up that way; my parents never let me date boys, even when I was 20 years old. “I understand that times have changed, but I believe my daughter is too young to go on dates,” she explained.
Mrs. Folusho Alimi, another parent, said that despite her worries at first, she permitted her daughter to start dating when she turned 15.
“Some of my friends told me I shouldn’t have let her date so young.” They thought I was too gentle with my daughter. “However, I trust my daughter, and at 15, she should be able to distinguish between good and bad,” Alimi remarked.
According to the mother, she recently established dating ground rules.
“When my daughter went 15 minutes beyond her curfew, I grounded her for a week.” She has followed all of my guidelines since then,” she stated.
According to some experts, 16 should be the proper age for teenagers to begin one-on-one dating.
Mr. Orijiakor Tochukwu, a psychologist from the University of Nigeria, Nsukka, believes that when it comes to youth and dating, the older they are, the better.
Tochukwu stated that the child’s maturity level should be the most crucial element in determining when the child is allowed to begin dating.
“I believe the appropriate age to allow an adolescent to go on a date should be 18,” he stated. He or she will be mature enough to make decisions by then. However, I believe that parents should devote more time to teaching their children about sex and its implications. Around the world, the times or patterns are shifting. Some countries are pushing for a reduction in the age of consent to sex to 13. They believe that children are aware of relationships and sex at their age.
“Studies suggest that the average age for a teenager to begin dating has plummeted from 16 (decades ago) to 13 in several parts of the world, such as Europe and America.” This is due to a variety of circumstances, including exposure to a wide range of knowledge in a technologically advanced age.
“Our is the conundrum that some parents face, particularly in this part of the world, where traditional beliefs frown on such actions for young teenagers.”
Tochukwu believes that this is all the more reason for parents to place a greater emphasis on sex education in order to minimize the negative consequences of their children participating in premarital sex.
“A lot of youngsters today are swayed by peer pressure,” he remarked. As a result, parents should begin educating their children about sex at a young age to avoid making mistakes. Without any ‘bad or incorrect’ intentions, an innocent teenage girl may elect to go on a date. What if her male companion, on the other hand, has ulterior motives? Does she know what to do if her date wants her to engage in sexual activity with him while they’re out on a date?”
Parents do not need to have a lot of sex knowledge or technical understanding, according to the psychologist. However, he stressed the need of having the talk.
“The costs of not speaking are simply too high. “Talk frankly and honestly with your children, answer their questions, and take advantage of opportunities to assist them in making sound judgments about their relationships and behavior,” he advised.
However, Uzondu Nwachinemere, an associate professor of psychology, does not endorse setting an age limit for dating because it would allow for misbehavior.
Instead, he suggested that parents use more time to teaching their adolescent children about the benefits and drawbacks of dating at a young age, particularly when the adolescent is not yet mature enough.
As a result, he recommends that teenagers be limited to one group date each year, rather than one-on-one dating, until they are “old enough to make sensible selections.”